Ready & Willing

Surgery, here we come! This is the face of a 7 month old who has dealt with one too many ear infections. Technically she's only had three but I must say those three have been consistent since she was 3 months old. I think we were lucky enough to enjoy a 2 week break somewhere in there but in the end they returned.

This week the heavens parted and we were able to see Dr. Black (ENT) MUCH sooner than originally planned. Heavenly Father answered our prayers and gave us snow - lots of it! So much so, that an opening became available the next day at 8:00 to consult with the ENT. (My prayers of having a family of 5 get stuck in the ditch musta been answered after all! ;-) This picture was taken as we were waiting in the room to meet with Dr. Black. I can guarantee you Mommy's face was smiling just as big as Addison's is here.

Our appointment was successful and as it turns out we get to enjoy relief much sooner than anticipated. We will be braving the snow in our 4 WD (if need be) to get to the hospital on time tomorrow morning at 6:30. Our doctor even assured us he'd be doing the same in his 4 WD.

Overall, it's been a long road to haul with multiple ear infections, cycling through even MORE antibiotics that never worked, and many many doctor appointments that continued to tell us -nope the ear infection is not gone - still there. Now on top of it all, the antibiotics have Addison's PH balance so screwy that she has a sore sore little bum. The poor thing starts crying after she poops and we lay her on the changing table just b/c she knows pain is nearing. But now, so so soooo glad we see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm nearing the brink of exhaustion with all of this.

What is interesting in all of this is that Addison has been a VERY happy baby despite all the complications and yuckies that her ears have brought on. I'm sure the poor little girl thinks this is what "normal" is. But, I'm VERY excited to see how well she does after all is fixed and well.

I've also been swimming around in quite a bit of mommy guilt and stress and anxiety/worry. Mommy guilt because I was the one that gave the bad ears to her. I had tubes in my ears when I was about 4 years old. My few memories are of waking up and puking on the doctor and afterward, getting to pick out a toy while my siblings looked on, since I was such a good girl. Sad to say that now I've found one of the FEW things she inherited from me was this. :( But John has done a good job of assuring me that as powerful as I think I am, I cannot control genetic DNA so I'm coming to terms with it all.

The only remaining worry/anxiety is how I'll be able to handle seeing my little 7 month old go under w/anesthesia tomorrow morning. Even if it is just mild and general, it's going to be hard to watch. Granted, I think I'd have a hard time regardless of what age she was, even if she were 25 years old. However, I'm prepared to push through the pain knowing that she'll be pain free when it's all said and done and it will all soon be a distant memory. Luckily the procedure itself only takes about 5 min/ear. And coincidentally, that is the only amount of time I think I can bear to not be with her. Thank heavens it's not any longer than it is.

So, please keep us in your prayers over the next day or so. I know the procedure itself will be simple and quick and is quite common - but it will be a new experience for us regardless. Can't wait for it all to be over with soon and bring home an even happier baby than before.