We still live in the insane asylum. Technically, this Mommy is the only one that could be diagnosed as insane. Addison and Jonas are just suffering the aftermath of my tornado. I'm hoping the tide changes soon because I don't know how much crazier it can get before the calm of the storm settles in. I'm looking forward to that calm.
We are now experiencing nursing issues. Why does this process seem to come so natural to 95% of the population and not to me? With Addison, I never made enough milk...thus she went hungry after nursing for over an hour....thus she cried. With Jonas, I make way too much milk....thus he drowns in my supply.....thus he quits and gets hungry...thus he cries. I'm convinced they need to have a recording of a crying baby to torment prisoners of war. That noise can take any human to their knees within minutes. Trust me....I know. I want to find those people that claim nursing is a "natural experience" and that instincts kick in and Mom and Baby just know exactly what to do. Eh....whatever.
Sometimes we have a good moment and I see a glimmer of light. Then other times it seems like we take a turn for the worse. The good news is that 1.) He is getting food....eventually. He's got the diapers to prove that so no stress there. 2.) His belly is pretty round and I take great pride in that - it took lots of sleepless hours and tears from me to get him like that. 3.) He's an easy baby when he's full. Once nursing is mastered....babies are fairly easy for me to take care of. 4.) I have milk! Woot! Too much, yes...but I have it! I have a nice little supply in the freezer so that puts both John and I at ease. The current negative right now is that it takes us quite a while to actually get a full belly. Lots of processes to put into action to make sure he doesn't get doused in milk.
I may be down but I'm not yet out. Despite the frustrations and tears I'm not quite ready to throw in the towel just yet. Mostly due to the fact that my body has milk - so sooner or later he will learn to eat it successfully. And it's the better milk...he needs that. In the meantime I owe Addison a pony for all the junk she's had to deal with...she's a trooper. I just hope I am too. Sigh. I hope to have better news next time once we overcome this hurdle. :D
3 weeks ago
5 comments:
Oh, I think that so many people just don't share the problems of nursing that they actually have. There is NO WAY that don't have any!! The first month of nursing is HE_ _!!! And I think we, as mothers are champs to survive the first week, let alone the first month! Hang in there, it will get better-I promise! So glad you have milk this time!
Give yourself a break and know that there is no book to do this, nor a perfect way-it's hard but that's what makes it so worth it! And Addison loves you and you all have to learn this together! Pat yourself on the back-you're still alive and kickin'...and so are your kids-that's HUGE! ;)
Hey Shannon, I know you are stressed and I am so sorry. I'm sure you will work something out that works for you and Jonas.
Just an FYI: if you end up with TONS of extra milk, you can look into milk banks (call your hospital - they should know if there is one near you). Mom's of preemie babies often have struggles getting enough milk and donations are often used for those babies. We ended up putting Raina on a preemie formula, but lots of babies need that extra help and their parents can't always afford formula.
Maybe this will make you feel better, but it took me having a fourth to finally get the hang of nursing. I make an abundance of milk all the time. All of my kids end up drowning and I end up soaked as well. I hate nursing in public for this very reason. The good thing is it does get better and he'll be a chunky monkey. You can do this. You are amazing. Good luck!!!!!
I seriously get so excited everytime I see you've updated your blog. Excited and way impressed that you have the time & energy for such as that. I love your blog...even though I just talked to you on the phone yesterday and already knew the update..but you're a great writer & very exciting! haha Love ya!
Hang in there, Shanaynay! You are doing a great job. This too, shall pass. XO
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